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Three Envelopes

January 31, 2019

Three Envelopes

This morning at 11:30, I sauntered into our office cafeteria like a gunslinger in a Technicolor Western walks into a saloon: hot and dusty, spurs jangling, a band of sweat around my cowboy hat. I wasn’t kidding when I ordered my bourbon and Coke, but Miss Lucy thought I was and looked over her readers and teased, “Girl, do I need to call HR, or are you ok?”  

If Miss Lucy had slid my 20oz. bottled cherry Coke down the counter, I’d have caught it one-handed.  It had already been a long day. The kind of day that makes you start second guessing major life choices. The kind of day that allows that mean voice in your head to start hissing ugliness. The kind of day that makes you order bourbon and Coke at the workplace cafeteria.      Continue Reading

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Annie Elizabeth

January 24, 2019

annie elizabeth

I imagine it was hot.  Summer in south Georgia is something to behold.  Just walking across a yard makes me feel like a lit candle  – melting by degrees.

She sweats through her day dress, big dark circles appear on mousey-brown fabric, soft from washing and washing again.  If there had been a breeze, the wet circles under her arms, across her breasts, and the band soaked around her waistline might have provided some cooling relief, but there was no breeze.  Just oppressive, thick, wet heat. No rain in sight. The dogs rarely left their wallowed ruts under the house, as summer slunk its way into fall.

It was an ordinary day – a day full of chores:  cooking, washing, cleaning, churning, feeding chickens, sweeping yards, tending to hot, fussy children.  An unremarkable day and yet around 140 years later, it’s one of the only stories I know about her. Continue Reading

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Cube Farm

January 17, 2019

cube farm

I work in a cubicle farm.  It’s not as glamorous as it sounds.  My cube is larger than most I’ve seen on television.  That’s a plus, I suppose. Although the way my computer is situated in the corner, I cannot see people walk up behind me.  Others in the farm have mounted mirrors to the left and right of their computer screens, so they are alerted when someone is behind them.  It’s a little long-distance truck driver for me, but it must work. They are never caught by surprise. Last week, I carried on an entire conversation with a co-worker while she looked at me in her rear-view mirror.  It was a little off-putting.

Working in a cubicle makes me feel like a little girl who has been put in the corner for punishment.  Being sentenced to standing in the corner was a big deal when I was little, it was a space I wanted to escape quickly!  As a grown up with a family that needs relatively affordable group health insurance, you learn to sit in the corner. With a smile.  All. Day. Long. Continue Reading

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Birthday Boy

January 10, 2019

birthday boy Colin

Just like nearly every other woman I know, tonight after I got home from my full-time job, I started my second full-time job. On this particular evening, in addition to the typical routine: supper prep, supper clean-up, laundry, and homework assistance, I also peeled 8 pounds of russet baking potatoes.

Loaded baked potato casserole is one of the essential side items requested for Colin’s birthday dinner. The menu also includes fish sticks with honey mustard on the side, steamed broccoli with homemade cheese sauce and something he calls ranch salad. The recipe for ranch salad for those who are curious: chopped iceberg lettuce, ranch dressing, and croutons. For dessert, he’s asked for a Dairy Queen ice cream cake.  I’ve got this. Continue Reading

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Christmas Meniscus

January 3, 2019

“Mama, I’m hungry.” If I had a quarter for every time this was bellowed down our hallway, whispered into my ear, or declared aloud at the exact moment I finally sat down from any number of chores, I’d be a millionaire.  

After nearly two weeks at home over the holidays with my boys, I’m convinced one of the reasons I am not a millionaire is because Jamie and I feed two children every three hours. They go through food like a buzzsaw through plywood.   Continue Reading

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Hamsters and the Virgin Mary

December 13, 2018

nativity

The hamster was not my idea. The hamster was Ginny’s idea and somehow, she roped Jamie’s sister Keisha into it, too.

Colin had been asking for a kitten, but we already have a dog. Paisley, our miniature schnauzer, was bought for Jack after he turned three. Buddies for the last 11 years, Paisley follows Jack from room to room, sleeps at the foot of Jack’s bed and gets antsy when Jack isn’t home.

Colin wanted a kitten, but he is allergic. Enter hamster. Continue Reading

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Magic

December 6, 2018

magic dress

Every now and then when Ginny and I still lived at home, Mama got a wild hair to clean out the tin house behind Nanny and Pops’ house.  We didn’t have an attic, so we stored all the flotsam and jetsam of our lives in the tin house. At any given time the tin house stored: assorted Christmas decorations, a table and chair set Mama and Daddy had when they first married, some steamer trunks full of baby clothes.  There were a couple of shelves for books, some records, and magazines. Always there were cardboard boxes of different size and shape. Daddy also kept old tax records and used checkbook stubs in nondescript black trash bags for safe-keeping. That’s right, safekeeping.

Cleaning out the tin house meant we dedicated an entire Saturday in the fall to hauling everything out into Nanny’s backyard so we could clean the inside of the storage house first.  Then, we made a burn pile in an old rusty barrel and sorted treasure into four piles: dump, burn, dust and put back. I hated those days. It usually took us approximately forever to finish.   Continue Reading

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Someday House

November 29, 2018

Fontanini Someday

When Ginny and I were around thirteen, Mama and Daddy started giving us someday house presents: a set of pewter candlesticks, iced tea glasses, a piece of silver. I romanticized the gifts, of course, and thought of them as a kind of modern dowry.  

When Jamie and I moved into our first apartment, I unpacked those someday house treasures from my steamer trunk, where they’d been stored since I was a teenager.  As a new bride, there were lots of happy dreams in each candlestick, hand-carved wooden bowl and tablecloth I put on our very first mantle, bookcase and kitchen table. Continue Reading

Lifestyle Uncategorized

Tradition

November 22, 2018

When I was a little girl, Mama cleaned house by first opening all the windows to “air things out and let the sunshine in.” Then, she put a Broadway soundtrack on the record player.

I was of the age that chores were fun and helping Mama made me feel accomplished.  She taught me how to starch and iron the dishcloths and pillowcases. Sometimes, she would let me wash the hairbrushes.  I remember only bits and pieces of those days: how water would flick up into my face when I washed her round brown hairbrush or Daddy’s turquoise one with salt-and-pepper bristles, how the hot soapy water made the kitchen smell, the squeak of the bathroom mirror as I wiped it clean with newspaper wet with vinegar and water.  I remember curtains catching a breeze and billowing out into the room. Continue Reading

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Storm Series, Part Four: Druids

November 15, 2018

Candle in the Storm

Things were getting better.  The initial shock was wearing off, and folks were busy with clean up, insurance, estimates, adjusters, livestock, crop evaluations.  There was still no power, but we were all making do. It’s amazing how clean you can get with a bottle of water and a washcloth.

Out at Mama and Daddy’s the “Little House on the Prairie” camp was working so well, they reported they “lacked for nothing.”  A friend had come by with a chainsaw and made fast work of the few trees still down, doing in 30 minutes what was taking hours for us to do with a band-saw and a hatchet.  Now, Daddy’s primary concern was the pecan tree balanced on top of the gas tank in the backyard. “What if it explodes?” I asked. “Well, I guess we’ll find out,” he answered.    Continue Reading